"we need bart to help fold your father's underwear."

as i so munch-ily and greedily crunched and devoured the sour tangerine altoids, i realized at least 30% were stuck in my molars. i said to my mom that the tin should come with a toothpick, she said, "you are not supposed to chew them up."

I responded: "i can't waiiiiit. i grew up in an instant society, i can't wait for candy to dissolve!"