i watched a def poetry dvd where one of the performers spoke of needing to write... with that i can relate. you may have noticed that i reduced the links section, that's because i don't give a shit. i started this blog as a personal release. somewhere that i could write out my thoughts (because i am terrible at sharing them any other way) and my close friends could keep up to date. it ballooned, as things do... then it turned into a deletion, a year's hiatus, now back... and was trying to actually have a bit of an audience again. but fuck that noise.

if i don't care if anyone reads this, then why write here?- you may ask. well because if i don't let it out somewhere i will self-destruct. it's happened before and i'd prefer to try to avoid it.

i don't know what i am feeling as of late, but i think i know why i am feeling it- this complete and utter (and 100% manufactured) despair. it's stupid yet makes sense... it's hilarious yet quite sad. i can't explain it, but i am told it will pass. i assume it will... it has in the past.

there are so many things i pretend not to want because i am too lazy to work for them, and so many things i can have but don't want because i didn't choose them. probably the story of everyone's life, but why do i feel so alone?

mondays. bleh.

sang with lisa and band tonight, so i shall post a couple pics sometime this week once i have had a chance to upload/edit. tara sloane was playing in the front room at the cameron house and we could hear all of the band's stuff through the curtains. go cameron house!