within me is a bunch of blood and guts.
flip. today i finally got up and did stuff. yesterday was a write off including: a pizza for breakfast, lunch, dinner; red wine; roaches; what felt like total despair; a two hour walk from broadview station to queen across king then back home; a chocolate ice cream cone; skor bar.
today started off with remnants of yesterday/friday's fowl mood. absolutely fowl, like rotting chicken drumsticks in a garbage can- not that i know what that smells like. but i whipped myself today for it- fuck off is what i told my brain and i started cleaning. first the kitchen, my dishes, then sweeping up the dust that has been making me sneeze and cursing the broom for being so sticky with dust bunnies. i ventured out in the mid afternoon to find feminine napkins (hahaha), a folder for organizing bills, and some cranberry juice for mix.
i tossed all my roaches and ashes in the garbage along with the notion that i will not be buying pot for a while. though i know the past few days/week/weeks have had more to do with me, life, happenings, and the like- i still think it would have been more manageable were i not completely useless, too. 100% death of creativity. 100% death of ambition. 100% rise in the consumption of baked treats. no dice.
today is ok. today is better than this morning. maybe i will go see someone play tonight? maybe not.
i was interviewed this afternoon by the same girl i am collaborating with. well, "interview"... she asked me a lot of questions about photography, methods, processes (that's PRO-CESS-EEEEES, like your university prof would say, emphasis on the "EEEE"), and dark room subject matter. i answered what i could and told her i had non memory of other things.
if only i could forget the things i wished and not a completely random scattering of possibly useful information.
anyway...
today started off with remnants of yesterday/friday's fowl mood. absolutely fowl, like rotting chicken drumsticks in a garbage can- not that i know what that smells like. but i whipped myself today for it- fuck off is what i told my brain and i started cleaning. first the kitchen, my dishes, then sweeping up the dust that has been making me sneeze and cursing the broom for being so sticky with dust bunnies. i ventured out in the mid afternoon to find feminine napkins (hahaha), a folder for organizing bills, and some cranberry juice for mix.
i tossed all my roaches and ashes in the garbage along with the notion that i will not be buying pot for a while. though i know the past few days/week/weeks have had more to do with me, life, happenings, and the like- i still think it would have been more manageable were i not completely useless, too. 100% death of creativity. 100% death of ambition. 100% rise in the consumption of baked treats. no dice.
today is ok. today is better than this morning. maybe i will go see someone play tonight? maybe not.
i was interviewed this afternoon by the same girl i am collaborating with. well, "interview"... she asked me a lot of questions about photography, methods, processes (that's PRO-CESS-EEEEES, like your university prof would say, emphasis on the "EEEE"), and dark room subject matter. i answered what i could and told her i had non memory of other things.
if only i could forget the things i wished and not a completely random scattering of possibly useful information.
anyway...
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