a slushee is a very good night cap, in case you were wondering. or perhaps you have tried this delicacy yourself, this cold and sweet and headachey delicacy that isn't really a delicacy at all.

let's talk about overused words and words that imply one thing but really are disappointing in the end.

EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME! - I am sorry to inform you that a granola bar can neither be extreme nor EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEME! because it is only a bar shaped snack. it exists, yes, was baked... it might even taste delicious, but you are not evel knievel and it is not a motorcycle. documentary is an ugly business sometimes. Also, pitas. Unleavened bread, definitely not something to compare with riding down a cliffside on a hardtail. In fact, the very idea that this bread doesn't contain yeast should be reason enough to consider it less than standard; it has not risen to the occasion or has it even tried. Extreme pita? MOre like floppy bread-like discus.

Gourmet - Mac & cheese in a box can be gourmet. This is one of those terms, like "haute couture," that can mean anything as long as someone uses it as an adjective. Make sense? It's all relative. This is a pure marketing tactic because they know that in our heads we're thinking that gourmet = superior in quality. You gotta wonder if they mean superior then why don't they say superior? Because we're all sheep, that's why.

Outlet - Carpet outlet, clothes outlet, anger outlet? Yes. If it is something into which another thing can enter, then it is an outlet by definition. Outlet doesn't always mean good prices, sales, or even good merchandise. It is an outlet for manufacturers to place their product, whether that product is excess or not is TBD.

Well this post took a nose dive, so let's talk about the weekend:

Went down to old Hamilton to see the parents and to see Stinky-foo, my one true love. Spent time hangin', chillin', eatin', existin'... thinkin'. Recent events, past events, events to come haunt my mind tonight, as they do every night. Why haunt? Does "haunt" imply a negative train of thought? Am I creating and fulfilling my own prophecy? So many questions for a Sunday, for any day, too many.

i have learned to accept some things in life, the shit you can't change like the feelings of others, or The Way Things Are, but sometimes it's hard. Even possessing the knowledge of what to do in certain situations (having been there more times than i think necessary) doesn't make it easier. There's a line in a Fesit song that says, "The saddest part of a broken heart isn't the ending so much as the start: losing your mind for the sake of your heart." Without a doubt, without any question I can relate to this as we all can, I'm sure. but it's quicksand, a hole in the jungle you didn't see coming until you were up to your nostrils in grit, arms reaching out in search of something to hold onto, something to grab, some solid ground. It is quite sad to think that a broken heart is what is needed to come back to reality, but I don't know sometimes.

in any event, i found my way to the edge again and can say that it is good. muscles are sore, brain is tired, but i can walk and breathe so what's to complain about?

in the past it's been really easy to whine about whatever, write long posts about feeling like ass hoping someone will feel sorry for you, but i hate that game. pity is the most addictive drug and i have seen good lives consumed by it for too long. as much as i do need to share my thoughts and feelings with people, it is never an attempt to gain pity. and as much as my heart is calloused it still beats which means i am still alive which means the dead skin will peel away and rejuvenate and i will be me again.

i don't even know what i'm saying, this post is a trainwreck but i need to write, i need to write... sometimes i just need to write.