can't be bothered.
you'd think if i wasn't so bothered, i wouldn't bother at all- so the mere fact that this post exists is testament to the fact that i do give at least two shits, if no two and a half. high school is not life, folks, elementary school is life- the years that really form who you are, or at least who you'll resist becoming until the bell tolls. no matter how long has past, some things still haunt the memory... and the soul...
a couple days ago, i thought about my existence up north, then brushed it off without another thought. well, today for whatever hidden reason, my brain suggested (around 4pm) that i search for those few people who i once had on myspace to see what they were up to. upon being a true-to-form internet nerd i looked at this one dude's pics and found something i guess i'd overlooked before. a while back i realized what the fuck is wrong with me? and i deleted them all because really, moving on? yeah. so i went back as i am wont to do on days when i feel like complete shit, totally worthless and uninteresting. i found a picture in his profile of all of them gathered in 2006, somewhere, some place, beers in hand. three people i wished to call my friends during my childhood, but never could call them that for they were complete and utter cunts.
so i took a look at the pic, and underneath it one of the girls had posted a comment that got the hair on my back raised. she said something to the effect of, "if aimee sees this she'll be PISSED, maybe that's her behind my head? she did have short black hair, right? hahahahaha."
if you knew what i went through and you knew the full history you'd know exactly what the snide, snarky bitch was saying betwixt the lines. the comment was made in 2006 and i think that was the year i'd suggested we grab a beer sometime figuring we'd all grown up by now.
WRONG. so fucking wrong. i'd like to say that people don't change and to never expect it, but they do... i am living proof as well as so many others i know. i guess you have to want to not be a complete barbie-look-a-like-jerkoff before you can actually become someone decent.
so, yeah, it did piss me off- but not to see them together without me. duh, i have my own group of friends and my own life... after all, it is fifteen years later. beer was a passing thought. i am pissed off because they think that i would give a shit and that somehow my life still revolved around them. i would really like to inform them otherwise- but i don't feel it's worth the effort.
so, to anyone who knew me when i lived there, and finds this page somehow, a big fat fuck you and that's all.
i take comfort in knowing that i am not and was never an exclusionary asshole, and after some careful yelling inside my head to the tune of metallica, i've come to be at ease. let them have their ego, i care not.
a couple days ago, i thought about my existence up north, then brushed it off without another thought. well, today for whatever hidden reason, my brain suggested (around 4pm) that i search for those few people who i once had on myspace to see what they were up to. upon being a true-to-form internet nerd i looked at this one dude's pics and found something i guess i'd overlooked before. a while back i realized what the fuck is wrong with me? and i deleted them all because really, moving on? yeah. so i went back as i am wont to do on days when i feel like complete shit, totally worthless and uninteresting. i found a picture in his profile of all of them gathered in 2006, somewhere, some place, beers in hand. three people i wished to call my friends during my childhood, but never could call them that for they were complete and utter cunts.
so i took a look at the pic, and underneath it one of the girls had posted a comment that got the hair on my back raised. she said something to the effect of, "if aimee sees this she'll be PISSED, maybe that's her behind my head? she did have short black hair, right? hahahahaha."
if you knew what i went through and you knew the full history you'd know exactly what the snide, snarky bitch was saying betwixt the lines. the comment was made in 2006 and i think that was the year i'd suggested we grab a beer sometime figuring we'd all grown up by now.
WRONG. so fucking wrong. i'd like to say that people don't change and to never expect it, but they do... i am living proof as well as so many others i know. i guess you have to want to not be a complete barbie-look-a-like-jerkoff before you can actually become someone decent.
so, yeah, it did piss me off- but not to see them together without me. duh, i have my own group of friends and my own life... after all, it is fifteen years later. beer was a passing thought. i am pissed off because they think that i would give a shit and that somehow my life still revolved around them. i would really like to inform them otherwise- but i don't feel it's worth the effort.
so, to anyone who knew me when i lived there, and finds this page somehow, a big fat fuck you and that's all.
i take comfort in knowing that i am not and was never an exclusionary asshole, and after some careful yelling inside my head to the tune of metallica, i've come to be at ease. let them have their ego, i care not.
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