when i was younger and new to the internet, there was this guy i met on yahoo chats. he was a nice young guy from indiana, before things were completely overrun by perverts... he sent me a birthday card that year with $20 inside. it was the nicest thing a guy had done for me up to that point. ever, i suppose, given my youth. we talked about everything under the polluted haze of the earth... we talked until the wee hours of the morning. we were so close, he got to know me, my brain, my fucked up crazy head... before he ever got to know me in the flesh- and he liked me for me. how many people like "you for you"? not many, in this life, not many at all.

with that $20 i bought a ring that i still have... somewhere. it's too big and i don't want to lose it. a gentle reminder that i am lovable. a whisper that i am not entirely crazy. a small token to remind me of a time that has passed.