i wish i didn't miss you / fuck you
never forget
never ever ever forget
that, like a $0.99 bottle of mustard
or a wet band aid
you, too
are replaceable
-------
immediately after writing that i went and laid in bed and couldn't get earl off my mind. i was rereading some old blog posts tonight and came across one where i'd seen him and his band play here in october. we had a few conversations and hung out pretty much until they had to hit the road again. we hugged and made plans to meet in vegas and he was on his way. i wish i could say i felt as though it was the last time i'd see him, but i honestly felt like he would live forever. he went through so much he seemed to be made of teflon. we weren't very old or close friends, but i did know him for a few years and he was always the warm, loving person everyone knew. his ability to spread good feelings was uncanny, and i am pretty sure that poem above is bullshit.
poem, i think not. earl was not replaceable, and i would hope for some people that i am not, either.
couldn't sleep 'cause i had a head ful of memories, blazing by in no particular order and at an alarming rate- the few times i sang a tune on stage with him, the two times he came to toronto, emailing, joking. i want to say i miss him, but that is such a selfish thought... i do. i suppose i more miss the fact that the world has one less person in it who is irreplaceable, one less person who was passionate about life... not about what you or i think life should be, but simply about life as it is.
now i'm thinking too much and can;t seem to put my thoughts into words. it's just so strange, death. to have such vivid memories of someone, how their voice sounded, how their hair looked, how their face expressed whatever they were saying... it's almost as if our entire lives are based on constructing a mental effigy of someone because we know they're gonna up and leave one day.
memories are life's insurance policy.
never ever ever forget
that, like a $0.99 bottle of mustard
or a wet band aid
you, too
are replaceable
-------
immediately after writing that i went and laid in bed and couldn't get earl off my mind. i was rereading some old blog posts tonight and came across one where i'd seen him and his band play here in october. we had a few conversations and hung out pretty much until they had to hit the road again. we hugged and made plans to meet in vegas and he was on his way. i wish i could say i felt as though it was the last time i'd see him, but i honestly felt like he would live forever. he went through so much he seemed to be made of teflon. we weren't very old or close friends, but i did know him for a few years and he was always the warm, loving person everyone knew. his ability to spread good feelings was uncanny, and i am pretty sure that poem above is bullshit.
poem, i think not. earl was not replaceable, and i would hope for some people that i am not, either.
couldn't sleep 'cause i had a head ful of memories, blazing by in no particular order and at an alarming rate- the few times i sang a tune on stage with him, the two times he came to toronto, emailing, joking. i want to say i miss him, but that is such a selfish thought... i do. i suppose i more miss the fact that the world has one less person in it who is irreplaceable, one less person who was passionate about life... not about what you or i think life should be, but simply about life as it is.
now i'm thinking too much and can;t seem to put my thoughts into words. it's just so strange, death. to have such vivid memories of someone, how their voice sounded, how their hair looked, how their face expressed whatever they were saying... it's almost as if our entire lives are based on constructing a mental effigy of someone because we know they're gonna up and leave one day.
memories are life's insurance policy.
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