most days life goes on as usual and you do your thing and think your thoughts and everything is as it has to be. some days i feel stuck... inside of a machine. all i know are the cogs, i was born here and have no idea what this machine does except move forward and require a lot of energy. i don't know what it looks like from the outside and i am not sure i ever will.
reading the news is a painful necessity if you refuse to live in oblivion. i read this today after consuming dinner at mandarin last night (my friend's choice and it was her dinner, so...). while there i did think about it a bit, but after reading that and considering the whole experience, i remember why i stopped going to places like that a while ago. garbage bags of food get thrown out every night- including most dishes containing all of staple foods that some starving countries can barely afford, these days. breaded, deep fried; flour, corn, soy... you know the drill. but it's unavoidable in all aspects of life, what do you do when you want to escape? you can't. grocery stores throw out heaps of products gone bad, restaurants everywhere throw away piles of food daily, factories discard pies with odd shapes because... well, simply because they are different than specified. some days all i can see is how fucked the world is and how, with each step in a seemingly positive direction, you end up stepping into another red zone.
i feel gluttonous and disgusting. i feel wasteful and privileged. i hate that people choose to ignore the things in the news that matter most, while obsessing over the next president of the USA- the next president clone. who the fuck cares? in the year 3000 i doubt the cockroaches will be worried about who will lead them, just where to find the next feast... and that's part of the frustration- it does matter. the next president matters because everything is intertwined in this fucked up, and dreadfully boring/annoying bureaucratic way. it's nature within nature, a plastic ecosystem of sorts, bla bla bla.
everything is illusion... nothing is what was intended because nature has no intent.
anyway, back to work. another day, another dollar.
reading the news is a painful necessity if you refuse to live in oblivion. i read this today after consuming dinner at mandarin last night (my friend's choice and it was her dinner, so...). while there i did think about it a bit, but after reading that and considering the whole experience, i remember why i stopped going to places like that a while ago. garbage bags of food get thrown out every night- including most dishes containing all of staple foods that some starving countries can barely afford, these days. breaded, deep fried; flour, corn, soy... you know the drill. but it's unavoidable in all aspects of life, what do you do when you want to escape? you can't. grocery stores throw out heaps of products gone bad, restaurants everywhere throw away piles of food daily, factories discard pies with odd shapes because... well, simply because they are different than specified. some days all i can see is how fucked the world is and how, with each step in a seemingly positive direction, you end up stepping into another red zone.
i feel gluttonous and disgusting. i feel wasteful and privileged. i hate that people choose to ignore the things in the news that matter most, while obsessing over the next president of the USA- the next president clone. who the fuck cares? in the year 3000 i doubt the cockroaches will be worried about who will lead them, just where to find the next feast... and that's part of the frustration- it does matter. the next president matters because everything is intertwined in this fucked up, and dreadfully boring/annoying bureaucratic way. it's nature within nature, a plastic ecosystem of sorts, bla bla bla.
everything is illusion... nothing is what was intended because nature has no intent.
anyway, back to work. another day, another dollar.
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