quick thought.

over the weekend i went to a great house party, everyone was friendly and sociable. we stayed until 6am, it was so much fun... but, as with most parties, out comes the coke.

it is a weird, ravenous drug. the people who snort remind me of vampires... all night, waiting around the mirrored table for the next line. the more i see people doing it, the less i ever want to try it, and don't think i ever will. i don't think i'm better than people who use occasionally, i smoke pot and occasionally, cigarettes. i drink. i have my vices. i just... there's something weird about it, to me. maybe it's just so foreign to me, maybe it's the vampire effect, or maybe it is simply that the idea of snorting something up my nose gives me the willies. i can barely handle pool water-by-accident.

the reasons people give for using are interesting, too. primarily the need for more energy while waltzing into the wee hours of the morning (which is bullshit, i don't use it and i was alert and had fun). it's like there's some internal shame going on... some need for justification? i mean, i smoke pot 'cause i like how it feels to be high on pot. i drink sometimes because i like how alcohol makes me feel. i don't feel guilty about either and i never make excuses for it, or use it as an excuse for my behaviour.

my friend D. said to me that when you do it, you lose a part of yourself that you never get back. knowing him and all he's done and been through, i trust that.

weird culture...