working on a logo thing right now, well i was, blackthorn in hand/on desk. cant work anymore, creative juices run low when you were up/hit snooze/were up/hit snooze at 6am/7am/7:20am. good day or bad day, who knows... are there any that qualify? it ended on a good note with a movie, some chat, some silliness, a bit of snackyness and a whole lotta... loveliness? i hate the word "lovely" or any of its derivatives. it's something my grandmother says in her rose tinted world, and something people say when they are trying not to see the world for what it is. but in all honesty, coming from an 87 year old woman it is pretty endearing, every time she says it i am reminded of a time i never knew.

anyone else is just full of shit. do you like the sweater i got you for xmas? it's lovely. did you get the painting i sent? LOVELY! yep, hate the word.

i met a man on a street corner, like ya do, and he asked me how often people tell me i am astounding. i said... um... lots? assuming he meant about my height, but then he called me beautiful and we walked for a bit in the same direction and he talked about my height, my brothers' height, and the potential height of potential mates. i don't want to be an ass because he was sweet and wanted me to check out his music... but... really? let's talk about my height! let us talk about the subject i've never even considered nor has the world at large considered, ever in the history of the world at large has my height been considered. what does "world at large" even mean? don't you love when people say they won't or don't want to do something, then do it? makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. enough ass-being, i was in a shitty mood and it actually made me feel a bit better. plus the endorphin rush after performing ellipses-based exercises.

shitty mood. why, you may ask? no reason. anything and everything, a day when the brain won't shut off and from 6am/7am/7:20am your mind is spiraling inward and outward and over and over.

so i got to the boyfriend's place and he bought me a stocking and hung it by the fake chimney with care... swoon. enjoying the honeymoon. we're in a sweet time right now and i'm not stupid enough to miss out on it. fantastic to be in love.

a strange thing: the weekend before his stroke he said to me: "are we going to make it?" of course i thought nothing of it at the time.

my cousin and i went for martinis last weekend and discussed the concept of forever. i said that the idea of forever is moot because, since it is equivalent to an infinite amount of time... that time could either be one millisecond or one million years. to which he raised an interesting point: the idea of forever is seen to not only embody the time in which we find ourselves (earth and space), but also encompasses the unknown... which also may be finite, but is not measurable. who knows how many petri dishes there are in the lab.

been feeling a renewed sense of connectivity with the world as of late... every time i've been really pissy something or several things have come my way to say, hey, wake the fuck up. and i have. and i am thankful.

i just opened my $0.89 bag of prawn crackers and it smelled like... well, you know....