"in this shit life... we must chuck some things."

mother's day cheese.

i made this with that cheese/brother picture way down below. ha-larious!

and here is a good song:

it is often brought to my attention how clueless some people are. fer serious. even i, who spend very little time reading news articles, and a lot of time reading Absolute Crap™ can attest to the fact that it is very very hard to avoid knowing what is going on in the world. I don't have any current examples because my brain is moving in hyperspeed.

speaking of brains- here's a glimpse into my own right now (editing out lude daydreams and murderous visions, of course):

-work is moving and i am working saturday. thankfully, by the time i reach to london on saturday night for mary ellen's b-day thing i will be experiencing so much lower back pain that drinking exhorbitant amounts of liquor will be necessary. it is also good to note that i am somewhat of a lightweight, so my "amounts" might be less than "yours".

-this week lisa and me acquired a sweet apartment, a place to call our own, a shangri-la if you will. exciting, i know, but extrmely overwhelming, too. gas, hydro, internet, phone, moving truck, etc. registrations are falling out of my ears in some sort of reddish fluid i can't quite define.

-craigslist. i am an addict. it is ridiculous! even though we have found a place, i am now relentlessly checking the furniture, appliances, missed connections (i'm ronery), and rants and raves sections. not to mention the art/media jobs for maybe that sweet-ass job that's right up my alley in print or typesetting.

-mom & dad's house is for sale. on top of getting up at the ass crack of motherfucking weekdays, i reluctantly must make my bed, and tidy my room so it resembles a showroom every single day until the place sells. i am not a complete slob, but... ok, yes i am.

-phone calls. everyone and anyone. cell phone, text messages, work calls, UPS calls, ARGH!!!!!!!

-and then there's the usual aimoo-self-centered stuff like how i'm lonely and single and i don't even have energy to care about this anymore, hahaha. considering a small bench for outside of my bedroom for my suitors which will add up to exactly 0 because i am too lazy to bother. ha.

there are more, i am sure, but i am a bit frazzled this week. trying to keep a balance between sanity and, oh, i dunno... eating mcdonald's out of $1.39 jr. chickens, i suppose.

speaking of frazzled, i need another coffee and will acquire said coffee shortly. i don't think i've peed quite enough today...

I am completely ready to go home right now, je suis fatigue & also sick of taking retard phone calls from retard customers.

in other news: float like a hymenoptera, sting like a lepidoptera.

exciting news

WE GOT AN APARTMENT
we are signing tonight
it is at bay and dundas
and big
and cheap
and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yay.

"and it's good!"

= good mood.

I'm feeling really alone tonight, and knowing that this is a fact of life still doesn't help. 'Cause here I am, alone in my room, once again left with only my thoughts and my own self-control. Whatever's left of the latter, anyway. We all have down days, I keep telling myself, and that also doesn't help. It's just an introspective day a.k.a. a day of self-pity which I can't seem to shake. Maybe I need to feel it so I don't tomorrow.

I don't want to start this work week. It means moving an entire office and still coordinating shipments and bla bla arggggggggh. I don't wanna (whines).

I'm feeling tired of the unknown tonight. Tired of my own not-knowing how or why things happen and how I could allow myself to be vulnerable again. I always feel so wrecked whenever I let anyone near... even before they have a chance to wreck me. It's insane and I'm pretty sure nobody will ever stick around if I continue to act this way, but sometimes I wonder if I really want anyone to stay. Or if it's at all healthy to be waiting for the knife to drop every step of the way, even when it's a seemingly positive thing that's happening.

Have I just kindled a complete distrust of everyone? I can't blame "them" because it is me who ultimately decides how I will treat people and situations- but why, even when there is nothing to worry about, do I feel in a constant state of crisis... as if relationships with people are pointless because they are going to end in heartache.

Like somehow it'll always end up back at this point: sitting alone in my room crying over something that hasn't happened yet, but might, while remembering the last time it did.

I can't shake this feeling tonight: holding onto some hope for tomorrow.

belated mother's day photos.

now that i am sufficiently toasted i will go light the bbq and commence the sizzlin'. i will also do this hunched over since my back is acting up.

yay tallness!!!

lazy sunday to be followe dby lazy monday.

i am planning a great meal today. well, a single meal. a single-item meal. ok, it's steak. it's been marinating since last night, in my own little concoction that i've used for years now. i am excited! i have only eaten a banana and a slice of toast for the day. that will be it aside from my monster steak which i will BBQ after the house has its 4PM viewing. my parents are selling if you know anyone who wants to buy a condo up north.

we watched smokin' aces on friday (rented) and it was ok, but i was only half paying attention. i can't form an opinion on it with the little information that i have.

last night we saw the break-up, which was disturbingly real.

that is all.

...but otherwise it is highlarious.

maroon 5 are on SNL right now. it is less than stellar...

fookin' great day, i tell ye whut.

sometimes you find yourself positioned against intent. like in the path of a jogger who is wrong (ultimately all who oppose my opinions are) or behind several of the slowest paying people to have been born or vulnerable in the most dangerous sense possible.

sometimes you're glad you have a long weekend to blow brain cells and biking muscles and to forget about the position you're in by creating a whole new one.

i'm at a loss for words tonight, not only because i don't know how to verbalize my thoughts, but also because i don't think i want to say what i'm thinking. it's a hard line to balance betwixt.

yep...

...i am lazy.

cell phone camera weekend.

lazy blogger.

gladstone, 5/11/07 - @ +nurse's last stand. good job, tim.

extremely. i dunno what to say, but things are good. maybe that's why i haven't been posting much, haha.

why is that funny?

anyway. great party hansel.

portrait of an unoriginal gangsta

so last night we're at the drive thru at mcd's to get a couple ice cream cones, and we pull up to the speaker. you know how everyone is always trying to/is forced to upsell? well mom proceeds to order for dad, herself, and me:

"I'll have three ice cream cones AND NOTHING ELSE."

i laughed for a good 3 minutes, crying and all. the way she said it was like a 16th century proclamation. AND NOTHING ELSE!

hahahahaha. it's still funny.

holy jesus! what are these goddamn animals?

it's amazing how much things can change in a year. almost to summer and life is on its head, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it's good.

and old picture with odd memories attached...

heh.

"Now that we've got our own CNC hot-air gun to draw images of Jesus and Mary to our heart's content, we're not so very surprised to see those revered images popping up in odder places, like this here flash memory. Revealed by transmission electron microscopy, the folks at Chipworks found this familiar image of the Messiah on a 4GB Samsung flash memory chip. Dick James explains: "We often get dark fringe lines in the silicon, and in this case it looks like there was some holy influence." However, we're not so sure this is a dead-ringer for Jesus. As some staff at El Reg have pointed out, the dude also bears a striking resemblance to Gandalf, and we're seeing more of a long-haired, bearded Strongbad at play here." [source]

you shall not pass?

five minutes ago i killed a millipede with my clog. gooey.

i decided to fuck around with my template last night around midnight. to my dismay (at first), i switched back to the original blogger template. but today, that has been a good thing. no more working around the fucking widgets and template design features that are installed with the new blogger. i like the old HTML/CSS because it is easier to manipulate with a small, learn-as-you-go knowledge of both forms of programming.

word.

first off: my brother brought me back wooden clogs from amsterdam for cheap! good deals to be had in the market (EUR20), apparently. anyway, here they are:

You may want to note that they are called "trendy brown". indeed.

in other news: the b-day festival this weekend was fun. a small group of us had dinner at La Hacienda before finding our way down to Fionn Maccool's on king. we were going to the Wheat Sheaf but alas it was packed with sports fans. fionn's proved more than adequate for drinking and laughing and of course more drinking. the crowd thinned out (by
crowd" i mean "7 people" reduced to 3) and the three of us headed up to sneaky dee's. one of us wasn't too well, and then there were two. nachos, cab ride, hotel bed, apple walnut pancakes, pizza, bed. it was a great time.

and now i'm 25 and i feel no different. who knew.

so... do you think quick reflexes are more than just rapid reaction time? what if it ties into some form of clairvoyance... what if you predicted that the piece of muffin you were eating was going to fall in that exact pattern, allowing you to intercept and save it from the salivating mouth of your waiting fuzzball? let us ponder this.

discuss.

it is to laugh... and cry.

http://toronto.craigslist.org/med/322501498.html

Musician's Assistant

---

Reply to: job-322501498@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-01, 5:23PM EDT


Musician’s Assistant:

I am looking for an ambitious, hard working helper with my entertainment business to work between 10 and 20 hours a week. Pay starts at $8/hour.

The chosen candidate will help… making posters, putting up posters, updating the website’s including myspace, facebook and sonicbids, carrying equipment, videotaping performances, editing video for youtube, mopping/cleaning the jamhall studio, writing press releases, getting sandwiches and coffee, etc.

There will also be responsibities helping with my corporate AV business.

To start, I am looking for a reliable, level and fun person to do some of the redundant dirty work. In exchange, I can show you the ropes of this Toronto Indie Music scene and smile.

Please check myspace.com/canarymine and then tell me in 200 words why you will make a great addition to the team. I require this because last time I posted this job, 178 people applied and it was overwhelming. I am hoping to find that one best person.

Thanks,

James Lanbro

that guy is an ass. the only way to "know the ropes" is to do it yourself, for yourself... you don't need some semi-slave-labour job to show you how it is done.

pfft.

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